[00:00:51] Multi-million dollar project lost in 2008. Reinvented life coaching.

[00:05:56] Matchmaker friend inspires new career path.

[00:07:53] "Book called Worrier to Warrior coming out"

[00:12:43] Ask, Act, Attitude: Building on Attraction.

[00:17:05] Book "Worrier to Warrior", out 06/14/2023. Practical advice, QR code activities.

[00:20:44] Challenging shifts require the right attitude and action.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:00:00]:

The way through life or worrying your way through your business? If the answer is yes, then you will certainly appreciate the episode today on Cash In On Camera. I'm your host, Sheryl Plouffe. And with me today, Martin Salama, who is going to be helping us understand how we can go from worrier to warrior. Martin, so great to have you on the show today. Sheryl, I'm so excited to be here with you. Thank you so much for having me. I wanna know a little bit about the backstory of how your book came to be. I mean, we're going to talk a little bit more about the book that's coming out and all of the different assets that you've created around this particular topic. Why are you so passionate about helping people in business and in life to really go from worrying all the time to being in a place of empowerment?

Martin Salama [00:00:51]:

So I think I have to go back to the summer of 2008. If the people out there don't remember, that was right before the world fell apart financially. But leading up to that for 5 years my wife and I were working on a project to build a multi-million dollar health club and tennis center in New Jersey. And by that time we put in over 3000000 dollars waiting for all the approvals to come through. The 5 years took finding the location, deciding if it's the right thing to do, everything that you could imagine, going to the city and the city saying, oh, you got to do a civil engineer, make sure this, it doesn't affect the parking and it doesn't affect the driving around, all that. And if I went to 2006 or 2007 to the bank, which I had gone to, and they have said to them, okay, we're moving along here, they said to me, great, when you're ready, we've got money for you, we're ready. And I'm like, fantastic, I can't wait. Comes to the summer of 2008, finally get all the approvals, go into the bank and they go, yeah, we're not lending anymore. I'm like, what are you talking about? I like it, I was dumbfounded. Last year, it was like, if I was going to Costco and I asked for samples, you were giving money out like it was Costco. But here, yeah, it's not that way anymore. Things are slowing down. Little did I know in a month from then, in September 2008, Bernie Madoff, subprime loans, the entire financial world crashed like a house of cards. And you know where I was? I was the Joker on the bottom of the deck. Right. And you know, it took me about a year to get out of that. And that during that year, I worried like crazy, I went into a depression, a situational depression. Saying what the heck am I going to do now? I lost $3 million of my money, my family's money, and investors' money 3 million. What am I going to do now? So I went through some therapy, and I went through some coaching. And after about a year, I said, Okay, I've been a businessman my entire life. By then I was 46, almost 47 years old. Like, okay, what do I want to do with the rest of my life? And I thought about it. And I said, You know what, here's a chance to reinvent and start fresh. And I looked back and I said, the things I love doing most, I was always involved in community events, and there I was a leader. And as a leader, people would come and say, I don't know how much I can do, I don't know what I can give you. And I would talk them through it and show them it just even a couple of hours Their effect was that they could help I realized I was a life coach So I said, oh, that's an idea. Let me do that About 2 months before I started life coach training was my 24th wedding anniversary which happens to fall out on the day after Valentine's Day. And my wife said I'm done. I want a divorce. I'm like, Oh my God, why does everything keep happening to me? But there was this little voice inside. And I think it might've been God to say, saying to me, you know what, you're planning to do this life coach, do it. You need to reset. You need to figure out what's going on. Figure out what's wrong

Sheryl Plouffe [00:03:54]:

within you, that's coming out that's not working for you. But Martin, Did you know when everything was crashing down, your wife asked for a divorce, the financial collapse, did you know that there was a greater plan at play? Because you were going through, as you put it, a situational depression at that moment. You had to work on yourself in order to discover

Martin Salama [00:04:19]:

that there was a purpose behind it. I did not know. Don't you wish you knew those defining moments, right? We never do. I could look back and show you many defining moments that I look back and say, wow, that was a turning point in my life. But right before I went, they sent me a list of books to read. And 1 of the books on the list was The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Uribe. Do you know that book? I don't. So he says, bring it down to 4 agreements. 1 is, to be impeccable with your words. Number 2 is, don't take anything personally. Number 3 is, don't make any assumptions. And number 4 is,

Sheryl Plouffe [00:04:58]:

always...

Martin Salama [00:05:02]:

It went out of my head just now. That's okay. In other words, always be true. Do what you, you know, always say what you're going to do. Do what you're, you know what? I got the book right here. Why am I killing myself? Always do your best. Always do your best. But that second 1 hit me like a bolt of lightning. Don't take anything personally. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. That's really tough. I realized that that's who I was my whole life. I was a people pleaser trying to please everyone and pleasing no 1. And as a result, I would take it personally.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:05:32]:

Yeah. So take us then to the moment where you're going through the therapy, you're coming to these realizations, you're reading these really great books, and it hits you that, okay, I'm on a different path. There's a path before me and I have to find the courage now to walk down this path, which leads you to the books, the course, the card deck, all these things.

Martin Salama [00:05:56]:

How did that all come about? So as soon as I finished with coach training, it also happened to coincide with when my divorce was finalized. And I wasn't sure what kind of coach I wanted to be at that moment. And I got a message from a friend on Facebook saying, now that you're divorced, are you ready to start coaching? I'm like, Kelly, you're married. She goes, no, no, no, I'm your matchmaker. What? What is this, fiddler on the Roof? I come from a very small Jewish community and when there's somebody single, no matter what stage of life they're in, there's this group of women and some men too, but mostly women who work on getting you dates if that's what you want to do. So we spoke and I said, I don't know if I'm ready. And we talked for an hour. She goes, oh my God, I never met a guy so ready after a divorce like you. I said I guess it's the coaching. She goes, well, maybe you should coach people around that. So I became a divorce recovery coach. And after a few years of doing that, I started to develop into who I wanted to be. And I looked at myself, I had just lost 65 pounds because at 1 point I realized I need to change what was going on. So I lost all that weight. In 9 months I had done that. And I was doing things like reading the right books, being coached, eating right, feeling right. And I was doing something, I was ADHD, and I was meditating. And 1 day I had this download of information that I loved my life, and I wanted to show other people how they could too. I finished the meditation, which always was hard because my ADHD had me all over the place. And I wrote for 2 hours, and out of that came life. Live incredibly full every day.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:07:37]:

And now this is your life's path. This is your life's work that you put into the book. I'd love for you to tell us a little bit more about the book. And we're going to get into 1 of the specific aspects of that book in a moment. But tell us a little bit about the book

Martin Salama [00:07:53]:

and why you decided that you needed to put this in this format. Okay, so the book is called Worrier to Warrior. Thank you for putting up that graphic there. And it's coming out on June 14, which is about 2 weeks from this live broadcast. And what I had that happened was the way the word the worrier to warrior came in was that was me. I was always a warrior. But I had turned that corner, I recognized that I'd made that transformational shift in my head. And I was dating and I met a woman who I fell in love with. And I'm very happy to say in a few days we'll be married for 5 years. So now imagine if I had gone through COVID alone, you know, not married, but I was married. We were married for about 2 plus years at the time. And 1 day I told her, let's take the kids, she has 3 kids of her own, and go to the city. Let's drive to Manhattan. It was a Sunday afternoon, it was actually a rainy day, but it was still a sunny day, a Sunday, and we drove to New York, and we were able to drive straight up 6th Avenue and straight down 5th Avenue without missing a traffic light, which is impossible in New York. But I looked around, and I was like, what is everybody so worried about? Where is everybody? Put your masks on, put your gloves on, and go outside. Everybody had been so afraid that still this is 2 months in and people are still not coming out. And I realized why wasn't I worried because the last 10, 12 years going through my divorce, losing everything, losing weight, doing all those things, transforming myself. I had gone from being a worrier to a warrior. And I went out to Facebook. I said, let me show you how to do that as well. And that's where the warrior's life code came in. Cause I took the warrior saying a warrior is somebody who's gone through the tough stuff and comes out the other side stronger.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:09:43]:

Yeah, I love that. It's this resilience that I think so many of us can benefit from, especially in business. I mean, I know on Cash In On Camera, we talk about marketing, we talk about business. What is it, Martin, that you think is lacking in most entrepreneurs today as it pertains to worrying?

Martin Salama [00:10:03]:

What could they do to help themselves stop worrying so much, but also still accomplish the business goals? You know, it's so funny that you use the word lacking in there, because what I help people do is shift their minds from lack to abundance. We're on a deeper level, from self-conscious to self-aware. So what's happening is everybody, but let's talk about business owners here for a minute, who are always that are not succeeding. They're in their own way being self-conscious about what's going on. And to me, there's a big difference between self-conscious and self-aware. Many people think they're self-conscious. I was self-aware, I thought I was until I totally understood what self-conscious meant and the difference between the 2. All right. And part of my course, part of what I have here you mentioned is a card deck. Alright, and this is in the book as well but here's a quick idea of what they are. Self-consciousness comes from a place of negative energy, guilt, conflict, and doubt. Self-consciousness is more outward-directed. It's being more concerned about what others are thinking of you and how the situation is going to affect you. You probably react to uncomfortable situations instead of responding. Self-awareness comes from a place of positive energy, acceptance, contentment, and self-assuredness. Self-awareness is more inward facing. You have an accurate and realistic understanding of how you're responding to situations and how you feel about things. It's about taking care of yourself instead of taking care of others, or worrying about others. Okay, being concerned for yourself and moving forward in a good way, as opposed to worrying about everything else around the world. And when you put it into business, worrying that, oh, the business isn't doing well. Are you doing everything you can to be inclusive, to be a leader, to make sure that everybody, doesn't hide their feelings, be vulnerable?

Sheryl Plouffe [00:11:55]:

That piece around being vulnerable, I think is 1 of the key, most important things that you can do to show that you're a human being, right? You're not immune to all of the challenges of life and business. But vulnerability, I think, is something that we ought to all do more of and be willing to be vulnerable. I know that you have this in the tools for success section of your book You talk about the cycle of A's Right, and I'd love for us to dive into that because I think that as an example of all the goodness that's in your book, pertains to this topic today of going from worrier to warrior, elevating your business success. So can we go through the cycle of A's, Martin? Absolutely. And give our viewers and our listeners

Martin Salama [00:12:43]:

some tactical, tangible things they can take away today. So there's a reason I have it as a cycle. It's in a circle the way it is. Okay. And the 3 are ask, act, and attitude. Ask the universe for what you want. Ask God for what you want. That could even be, oh I've come up with a great idea. That's the ask, right? I have this great idea. What am I going to do with it? So most people think, oh, that's the law of attraction. That's the law of attraction on a very basic foundational level, but you've got to build on that. And that's where ACT comes into play. Start doing the work to get the things that you want. You want to get a million dollars? What are you doing to get the million dollars? And if you don't believe you could have a million dollars, then don't ask for a million dollars. Ask for 10, 000. Then when you get 10, 000, go to 50, 000, 100, 000. You know, they say, millionaires say the hardest money they ever made was their first million. It's easy to make 10 million, 100 million. It was getting to that first million. A lot of that had to do with their own belief in themselves. So that's the act. Start doing the work. And then the third 1 is probably the most important. It's having an attitude of I am detached from the outcome. Because if it's not supposed to be, God, the universe is telling you, make a course correction. And don't say, oh, I failed. Oh, it's never going to happen for me. It's that want that you're putting out there, that attitude of lack that's holding you back.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:14:20]:

Yes, and I like that you demonstrated with the visual aid that this all plays into itself. This is a cycle in which 1 feeds into the other. They're not independent of each other. They all work in tandem

Martin Salama [00:14:35]:

with 1 another. Right, right. I love that. And once you get the concept, it's easy to get into the cycle. It's a perpetual motion. You keep asking, and while you're asking, you're acting, and while you're acting, you're attituding, and while that's happening, you come up with something else, and it builds upon each other. And here's the important part. When something good happens and you go, oh, okay, it's a coincidence. No, no, no. That's the magic of the cycle of ACE starting to happen, accept it and grow and take from it.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:15:06]:

There's so much to take away from this, right? Is that we, self-awareness is really where it's at. So many people are self-conscious about themselves, about their business. And there's a lot of worrying that comes about as a result of that. And they're not stepping into their warrior mindset and growing their business and being detached to the outcome because we are just, we're so close to what we do. You know, I think if you're a coach or a consultant, you're an expert at something, you're so close to your own business that you can't see the forest for the trees. And so the advantage of having an external person helping you, whether, you know, a coach, um, or, or getting a book or having some support around that as opposed to going it alone,

Martin Salama [00:15:51]:

right? Can you, should you go it alone, Martin? Like when it goes to, when it comes to worrier to warrior, do you need help? Do you need support? Tell me a little bit about your thoughts. So first thing is, I have this saying that I learned from someone that I now don't remember what it was. So I take a great advantage of it. You go alone, but you don't grow alone. You need to have a team around you. I have at least 2 or 3 coaches in my business in my life in whatever's going on in old times. And when you don't, you start to rationalize that things are going the way they are for whatever reason. But what I've come to learn is that the word rationalize is really 2 words, rational lies. You lie to yourself that it's rational to do these things that you know go against your core belief.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:16:41]:

Yes. And it gives you the permission to say no. Oh so good. So good. Martin, how do people get in touch? And tell us about the book, because I know as of the recording and live stream of this particular conversation, we are in early June 2023. Books coming out mid-June 2023. How to do people

Martin Salama [00:17:05]:

sign, you know, release, tell us how we get the book, all of that? Absolutely. So the book, as we said, it's called Worrier to Warrior, and you can see here I am as a warrior and here I am a warrior. The reason it's got the little thing on it is because this is the first copy. It's called the author's copy to make sure that there are any mistakes. And I found a couple, so we fixed them. So I haven't gotten the regular copies yet, but on June 14, 2023, it's going to come out. It's a great Father's Day gift. Right? That's good timing. Think about it. But so that's when it's coming out. And I'm very excited about it because it's taken the things I've learned over the last 15 years between myself and my clients and put them into practice, like the cycle of A's and other things in there. And what's great about this book, that it's not just a theory, it's practical as well. When you get the book, there's a QR code right in the beginning to download success activities for you to do throughout the book to keep you motivated, to keep you inspired. And that's what's great. You can keep going back. And that's why I created the cards because the cards are an adjunct. It's like the principles of the little things that I talk about, just in snippets of it. And of course, my course and my, you know, coaching 1 on 1 for the ones who want to go that much deeper. And I made it very simple for people to get in touch with me. Go to connect with Martin dot com.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:18:30]:

Perfect. That is so easy to remember. Connect with martin.com. Connect, send a message, get in touch, buy the book, and get free gifts, and free resources. You know what I really appreciate about the work that you're doing is not only the topic, which is super important but these visual aids. I like the physicality of that and having a tangible card deck and a book, you know, because so much of what we do today is digital. I like that you've actually, you know, go that next level with the tangible. Yeah, it gives it some tangibility. Carry them around with you. Pull out 1 each day. For example, pull out, and tell me a number between 1 and 32.

Martin Salama [00:19:08]:

770, look at you. Number 7 is an act of the cycle of A's. Put in the work and act towards getting what you want. Put the work in. Martin, can I do 1 more number? Sure. 17. You like the 7 areas. Okay. So 17 is navigated, which is part of my uncover acronym that's in the book, and navigate how your emotional roller coaster is holding you back. Once you start to uncover, unlock and unleash the things that are holding you back, now it's about navigating through them, uncovering them, and allowing yourself to work through them. And don't beat yourself up if you take 2 steps forward, 1 step back. That's the navigation. And it's about learning how to control your emotions as part of it.

Sheryl Plouffe [00:19:59]:

Instead of the emotions controlling you. Yeah, which is most people's reality, right? Most people's reality is that the emotions are taking over and we overthink everything and we worry and the chit-chatter that's in our brains and then we can't sleep well and then we can't be at our best the next day. And it causes this downward spiral and a downward cycle of negativity, of lack of mindset. And we have to find a way to shift that and start going up instead of going down into the cycle. Yeah, a simple way to start is to start to remove the words I can't from your vocabulary.

Martin Salama [00:20:38]:

Even if it doesn't go to I can change it to how can I?

Sheryl Plouffe [00:20:44]:

Yeah, these are, they're shifts, but they can be really challenging shifts for people to make if they don't have, to your point, the right attitude. You know, if they're not asking, If they're not acting, then it can be really challenging to get. So I love that we've talked about this today, and there's so much more to explore in the book, obviously. So do be sure to get Martin's book. There's a card deck. There are other resources available at connectwithmartin.com. And Worrier to Warrior is releasing mid-June, June 14th to be precise, 2023. 7 Steps to Uncover the Warrior Within and Live Incredibly Full Every Day, which is the LIFE acronym. Thank you so much, Martin. This has been an enlightening conversation and we really appreciate your insights today. Thank you so much, Sheryl. It's been a pleasure being here. Thank you. And for those of you who are wanting to connect with me and learn a little bit more about cashing on camera or the work that we do to help coaches, consultants, and experts to scale their businesses. You can connect with me. There is a QR code on the screen if you want to take a picture of that. If you're watching the video, you can take a picture and find out all of the resources, free and paid, that I and our team offer, as well as all the speaking opportunities and events that I'm taking part in. And if you are listening to the audio, you can connect with me on social media or any of the social platforms, and you'll find my profile link in the bio. Thank you so much for listening and watching today's episode, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.